Journal Nr. 13


Battle of the Birthday Wishes: Mom vs. Friends

So it was my birthday this past week and I actually forgot until the day before. Not sure if I’ve reached the age (34) where I don’t care or if I’m just prematurely senile. I think it must be the latter. 

My husband was so sweet. He woke me with a kiss, and served me quiche for breakfast. Normally we sit on the couch half awake holding our cups of coffee, watching the morning news, while simultaneously playing fetch with Olivia, our youngest fur baby.

My day was filled with heartwarming happy birthday wishes from friends including “we miss you” and “when are we seeing you again." Nobody at work knew which was fine, I treated myself to my latest obsession – a dirty chai tea latte from a nearby artists cafe.

When I got home from work I noticed what seemed like a card from my mother with the flap carefully secured using a Joel Osteen Ministries sticker. Eye roll. I open the card to find a longer message written in purple, green, and red. She begins in purple writing about how difficult it was for her to have me during her pregnancy. "God gave you life" written in green, followed with "praise God." Ok.

Then she recounts the time I nearly drowned in the pool when I was about two years old and my father saved me. "Again God gave you life" written in green, followed with "praise God." Ok.

She continues writing how she believes God has a wonderful plan for my life, and I'm like..."Yes!"

"And that's why the devil fought to block God's plan for your life" (Translation: the devil wants me to be gay and God is trying to turn me straight).

What? I almost laughed in disbelief.

"The devil" fought God, and God lost? Is Satan more powerful than God? Or somehow if we don't pray hard enough, God is gonna lean back on his throne and say "Nope, not good enough for me to lift a finger. Hurry up before I send him to hell!" I don't understand her theology, or lack thereof.

Or, perhaps if God does have a plan, it doesn't include the narrative she's formed in her head, and perhaps there's something unprecedented on the horizon.

As they say, God works in mysterious ways.